There I was one Sunday this October finding myself once again getting lost in the bright oranges and yellows that catch my eye every single year this time. The one tree we have right outside of our apartment really seems to be a show-off and clothe itself in the most beautiful display of colors; I stood for a moment letting it take my breath away.
I thought about how inspired we get around this time of year, when the colors and the cooler air bring us to a newer place of peace, giving us a fresh breath after the thrill of summer, and how it gently reminds us that we, too, need Octobers.
I felt the same way as I looked down at the leaves below me burning colors like a summer-sunset – they made me think, “me too” as I realized their reality: they’re dying. Not themselves, but as parts of the tree as a whole – she surrendered her parts up for a greater change, to be dormant and quietly rest for a while, trusting the earth that it will turn and dance with the sun right on time bringing forth spring to her roots. Am I one in the same? Am I like this tree to God, trusting that I am able to shed my dying parts to bring a newer me to the surface?
It turns out my heart was saying “yes”. God is saying “yes”.
The greatest revelation that I’ve gained from this fall season is that He shows me there’s immense beauty in the changes of autumn, that you just have to look a little closer to see how beautiful it actually is, that He is accepting of us even when we’re stripped bare of everything we are to only be made new again. It’s the hardest season. It’s an ache the earth feels until the winds of winter come and put everything to rest.
If I don’t learn to surrender my fruitless parts up and give my soul time to rest, I stunt my growth.
It’s been tough bringing my mind to understand this, but my heart is willing. Deciding to pluck everything away one by one that I don’t need – lies I’ve taken in, useless mindsets, old baggage.. it’s the first step to my spring.
I stared down at the October leaves and saw my own dead parts – and yet, He’s made me feel so beautiful amongst the hardest of seasons.